The Zodiac

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)

[rating=3]

If you’ve made it through the first three Transformer movies, then why not just go out and power through this latest installment? I mean, you’ve made it this far, right? This new one adds some new elements story-wise that keep you interested for a while.

It’s five years in the future after the fiasco left in Chicago by the Autobots fighting the Decepticons and finally, the humans have had enough of all Transformers and are pissed. I mean, the devastation in the last one made you wish for the good old days of car bombings and terrorist attacks. Chi-town was in ruins and a government function was erected to go after the Decepticons remaining and give refuge to a few Autobots (probably Prime, Bee, and a few others). Well…enter Kelsey Grammer. He’s not the lovable Frazier or cuddly Beast in this. No…he’s a dick. And he runs a dick operation to kill any living robot out there; good or bad. And he’s made a deal with a very old bounty hunter. So old, he helped wipe out the dinosaurs but he’s got a duty to bring Optimus Prime back to the “Creators” who made him and Kelsey is there to help him out for a bit of good old American greed.

So, since this species has already wiped out Earth once, why not do it again? McDreamy learned the hard way in the last Transformers. Now, since it’s 5 years later, Sam Witwicky is probably saying “no-no-nonononononooo” in some other state with Epps and Fergie’s husband ’cause they’re not seen anywhere. But they need another dude to take their place with a woman with short shorts, big eyes, and preferably White. Enter Mark Wahlberg and his hottie daughter and her boyfriend…plus, Mark’s annoying ass surfer friend you hope gets Jason-Voorhees’d at some point for being that diarrhea-of-the-mouth character that’s comic relief but really…REALLY annoying at it..!!

Anyway, I won’t give away too much but Optimus Prime arrives and is pretty much a bad ass in this entire film!¬¨‚Ć Bumblebee arrives as well and a few new dudes who are cool Autobots come through. The bounty hunter is merciless and willing to kill along with Kelsey Grammer and Stanley Tucci. Those two actors make the movie followed by Marky Mark. The rest is fluff. I mean…anyone who grew up in the 80’s will be waiting for the arrival of Galvatron!! Yes…Galvatron! Well…he’s not in it much and that sucks. It’s like how they under-utilized Megatron in the last two Transformer movies. At least they had a few Dinobots in this and they kicked some ass. Speaking of kicking ass, this movie had SO much action! Wall-to-wall! But, I’m afraid to say, it had TOO much action. I felt myself zoning out and having to refocus because I was getting lost in too much explosion, fighting and not enough *gulp* Michael Bay slow-motion as the audio goes into a quiet hazy sound sequences.

But all in all, it was very entertaining yet very short on storyline. Anyone know how Optimus knew where to find the Dinobots? And why they even existed as Transformers?¬¨‚Ć Didn’t matter…Optimus wielding a sword on top of Grimlock is a cool visual. Whatever.