Racebook: Michelle Obama 50th Birthday Edition

Posted by The Zodiac | Blog,Crazy Things On The Internet,My Mind | Monday 18 March 2013 12:26 pm

racebook-michelle-birthdayBeyond the usual “bitch”, “c*nt”, “whore”, or “pig” the First Lady, Michelle Obama is called, many on the Right can’t seem to contain themselves in public forums under the guise of a Facebook username from spouting out common racist slurs.¬¨‚Ć Of course, they’ll spin it around and call the Obamas racist against Whites but nobody has ever successfully explained how this is possible.¬¨‚Ć But tell me what’s worse:¬¨‚Ć the original posters or the cowards who “Like” the blatant racist posts?

So, without further ado, I present to you Racebook: The Michelle Obama Birthday Party (that no one has bothered to research or confirm the costs before replying).¬¨‚Ć Feel free to alert these assholes that they’ll forever be linked to their racist rants.¬¨‚Ć Cheers!

[Original Facebook Post]

Does Your Tattoo Suck?

Posted by The Zodiac | Crazy Things On The Internet,Uncategorized,Verbal Expression | Thursday 19 July 2012 1:45 pm

As an artist, I’m always utilizing my visual abilities to become enamored by what the world has to offer.¬¨‚Ć My eyes never lie and earthly beauty has always fascinated me.¬¨‚Ć Enter man and his ink pen.¬¨‚Ć Tattoos have been a part of modern-day civilization and pop culture for several decades and today, people like getting inked on their skin for several reasons: religion, expression, spiritualism, and sometimes to be a complete jackass so their friends can laugh at them.¬¨‚Ć Living for the now is a great thing.¬¨‚Ć But living to regret it later in life is something God should’ve put into the brains of these morons.¬¨‚Ć I present to you..Tattoos that suck.

 

 

The Wack-vengers!

Posted by The Zodiac | Blog,Crazy Things On The Internet | Saturday 26 May 2012 10:00 am

Are these not the saddest Avengers you’ve seen so far?¬¨‚Ć Captain America is holding a frisbee and has on two helmets. lol.¬¨‚Ć Thor (sadly, the best of the bunch) has two dead eagle wings on his head at full wingspan, and his hammer, Mjolnir, has been defaced with graffiti.¬¨‚Ć Ironman is proudly displaying his insatiable need for rum on his chest right under his cellphone chest piece.¬¨‚Ć And the Hulk….The Hulk.¬¨‚Ć LMAO!!!¬¨‚Ć If I had that outfit on, I’d keep my face covered too!

Is Time Magazine’s Breastfeeding Cover Controversial?

Posted by The Zodiac | Crazy Things On The Internet | Thursday 10 May 2012 2:17 pm

time magazine controversial breast feeding photoSeems this Time cover is causing an uproar in the United States.¬¨‚Ć What else is new?¬¨‚Ć The over-moral folks are clamoring to the rights over what people do with their bodies.¬¨‚Ć Now, personally, I think it’s a bit weird for some kid who is the size of a midget to be sucking his model-like mom’s titty like it’s a walk in the park.¬¨‚Ć The image is usually some little baby grabbing some nipple-juice to help him grow.

Either this woman is taking steroids and passing it to her offspring or that kid’s father has some Captain America super-soldier serum coursing through his veins.¬¨‚Ć Either way, people at the check-out line are going to sexualize the image, covering their children’s eyes because obviously viewing a breast at an early age (after breastfeeding of course, but before dating) will cause you to rape, murder, and pillage the nearest orphanage.

I think the photo is actually cool and I wouldn’t mind a dip in mom’s pool but is the photo appropriate for TIME magazine?¬¨‚Ć Sure.¬¨‚Ć Nothing really controversial in it for me.¬¨‚Ć The only thing weird is the kid looks like he’s older than 3, can fight, and obviously likes combat with his camo slacks.¬¨‚Ć He’s half his hot mom’s height and weight and seems to have a magical ability to seek out the nearest leaking titty and attack!

In Europe, this photo wouldn’t have made a blip on the radar in the weekly church periodical.¬¨‚Ć But here in the archaic, tyrannical United States where breast-sightings have been known to have Medusa-like effects on penises and cause the men they’re attached to to have Reefer-Madness-like reactions where civilization is reduced to mindless zombies on the search for the nearest wet opening….wait. What was I talking about?

Oh yeah…¬¨‚Ć This isn’t controversial.¬¨‚Ć Move on and hopefully when the kid is 9 years old, doesn’t decide to crave milk with his pizza.¬¨‚Ć At that point…yeah.¬¨‚Ć It just might be a tad bit controversial.

Rick Santorum Inspiring A Black Church

Posted by The Zodiac | Crazy Things On The Internet | Friday 30 March 2012 10:43 am

LMAO @ This Photo of Rick Santorum and his “inspirational” speech in front of a Black Church in Florida.¬¨‚Ć He sucks.

Really Marques?

Posted by The Zodiac | Crazy Things On The Internet | Monday 13 February 2012 8:25 pm

This dude looks serious as hell wearing clothing from the distant future…¬¨‚Ć Like his facial express will make me fear the fact he’s wearing a plastic see-through suit.¬¨‚Ć That photographer must’ve had tears streaming trying to focus his lens holding in his lolz.¬¨‚Ć Trying to look like Predator and failing invisibility.

Track Meet Champ

Posted by The Zodiac | Crazy Things On The Internet | Monday 5 September 2011 9:00 am

What in the hell went through this young track star’s mind when he agreed to actually join in this race?¬¨‚Ć You have to give it to the young dude….he’s got CRAZY heart!

[hdplay id=3]

Redneck Goes Bonkers Over Casey Anthony Verdict

Posted by The Zodiac | Crazy Things On The Internet | Tuesday 5 July 2011 11:11 pm

Check out this redneck’s reaction to the Casey Anthony Verdict.¬¨‚Ć FRYYYYYYY!!!

[hdplay id=1 ]

Clean-Cut Celebrity Mugshots

Posted by The Zodiac | Crazy Things On The Internet | Sunday 17 April 2011 11:00 am

Yeah, sure you’ve seen the crazy mugshots some people wind up taking and it’s a shame. I mean, why do people look like crap when they get busted? I’m sure getting tossed in the drunk tank or perp-walking sucks but at least take a good photo. Here are a few celebs who were prepared for their street cred with good-looks and/or a winning smile.

Chris Tucker 

Comedian Chris Tucker was arrested in April 2005 and charged with reckless driving and fleeing to elude after he did not immediately pull over his speeding 2005 Bentley. Tucker, 33, spent about 30 minutes in a McDuffie County lockup before posting cash bond and being released. According to cops, the ‘Rush Hour’ star, an Atlanta native, was doing 109 mph on Interstate 20 when clocked by state troopers.

Editor’s Note:

Chris got that “hurry up and take the damn picture” look while wearing his windsor-knotted tie under a standard D.O.C. orange jumpsuit giving him that stylish criminal look.

Kimora Lee Simmons  

Kimora Lee Simmons, the wife of music power Russell Simmons, was arrested in July 2004 and charged with marijuana possession and a variety of vehicular infractions following a traffic stop near her New Jersey estate. Saddle River police said Simmons, driving a Mercedes-Benz coupe, repeatedly ignored their directions to pull her car over as they followed in a cruiser with its lights flashing.

Editor’s Note:

I had a chance to converse with Kimora Lee once.  She came up and started talking my ear off.  Nice lady and takes a nicer mugshot with her pearly whites shining through contrasting her green tee looking fabulous for the camera.  Mugshots were made for Kimora.

Floyd Mayweather, Jr. 

Mayweather has been charged with one count of Grand Larceny. He was booked in to the Clark County Detention Center following his arrest and posted the $3000.00 bail shortly after.

Editor’s Note:

Floyd knows his smile will get the ladies motivated and never loses an opportunity.  Walking the perp-walk cat-walk in his new-age black and white-striped shirt, he gives criminals a new reason to get in style.

Steve-O 

On July 31, 2002, Steve-O was arrested in Los Angeles on obscenity and assault charges for performing his now infamous stunt, The Butterfly (in which he staples his scrotum to his leg) at the Abyss, a nightclub in Houma, Louisiana, and for being a principal to a second-degree battery, both of which occurred at the nightclub on July 11, 2002. After posting a $150,000 bond in the Los Angeles court system, he was allowed to return to Louisiana where he turned himself in to the local authorities.

Editor’s Note:

Steve may have that “Oh shit, I’m really a jack-ass” look but he knows that taking a good mugshot photo in a suit counts for something.¬¨‚Ć Take note, future nut-staplers.¬¨‚Ć When your pic is on the news, look good for the camera.¬¨‚Ć Side note:¬¨‚Ć Steve-O shares my birthday.

Frank Sinatra 

In 1938, a 23-year-old Frank Sinatra was arrested in Bergen County, N.J. on charges of seduction and adultery. According to the FBI reports, “On the second and ninth days of November 1938 at the Borough of Lodi” and “under the promise of marriage” Sinatra “did then and there have sexual intercourse with the said complainant, who was then and there a single female of good repute.” This, the charge stated, was “contrary and in violation of the revised statute of 1937.” The charges were later dismissed when it was determined that the woman involved was married.”

Editor’s Note:

Think Frank didn’t know his suit and cool hairstyle would come in handy?¬¨‚Ć Look at that fashion!¬¨‚Ć New Jersey was obviously good to old Blue Eyes as he knew at a young age that prison numbers go well with a nice black & white-specific photographer.

Shia LaBeouf  

Shia LaBeouf was arrested in November 2007 after he refused to leave a Chicago Walgreens. The 21-year-old LaBeouf, who appeared to be intoxicated, was popped after he ignored a security guard’s demand to leave the drugstore. The actor, pictured above in a Chicago Police Department mug shot, was hit with a misdemeanor criminal trespassing charge.

Editor’s Note:

Sure…Shia may not be as fashionable as the others but look at that winning smile. Even with that glazed look in his drunken eyes, you know Shia pulled out his only weapon to ratify the situation: his teeth!

Kiefer Sutherland 

This Kiefer Sutherland mug shot was snapped by the Gelndale Police Department in December 2007 after the actor surrendered to serve a 48-day jail sentence. Sutherland, 40, pled no contest in October to driving while over the legal limit of .08. It was the second time in three years that the star of ’24’ was busted for DUI.

Editor’s Note:

Kiefer’s look screams “I’m really Jack Bauer” but we know he’s not.¬¨‚Ć I ran into Kiefer a bunch of years back in a bathroom at the Mondrian Hotel in LA.¬¨‚Ć He was drunk then too while pissin’ next to me and cracking jokes.¬¨‚Ć Dude was lit and acting like we were buddies.¬¨‚Ć I bounced!¬¨‚Ć But he cleans up nicely since then.

Scottie Pippen 

Houston police busted basketball star Scottie Pippen in April 1999 and charged him with drunk driving. Cops pulled over the six-time NBA champ’s Mercedes after seeing him use an oncoming lane to pass cars stopped at a red light. Pippen, who was playing for the Rockets at the time, failed a field sobriety test and refused to take a Breathalyzer. Harris County prosecutors subsequently dismissed the misdemeanor charge.

Editor’s Note:

Think Scottie gives a single fuck in this pic?¬¨‚Ć No he doesn’t.¬¨‚Ć He knows that the camera man struggled to raise the camera up to his height and by the time the flash went off, Scottie was ready for his well-suited posturing.¬¨‚Ć Earring in tow, Scottie showed the fans that stylists weren’t needed that day.

Lindsay Lohan 

Lindsay Lohan posed for the above Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department mug shot in July 2010 after being booked into the Lynwood Correctional Facility. The actress, 24, was ordered to serve three months in jail after a judge determined that she violated the terms of the probation she was put on following two 2007 DUI arrests.

Editor’s Note:

Lindsay’s a bum.¬¨‚Ć But she knows how to take a good mugshot with nothing more than some D.O.C. county oranges and a good comb.¬¨‚Ć I’m sure this isn’t her last one so let’s keep our eyes open to see if she improves on her fashion sense.

Paris Hilton 

Paris Hilton was booked into a Los Angeles jail in June 2007 after violating terms of a probation sentence imposed following a drunk driving plea. In January, weeks after pleading no contest to a reckless driving charge, the 26-year-old Hilton was cited for driving with a suspended license. After signing a document acknowledging she was not to drive, Hilton was pulled over by cops in February and charged with a probation violation. As a result, she was sentenced to 45 days in jail. Hilton posed for the above left mug shot after her September 2006 arrest. The second booking photo was taken when she surrendered to the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department to begin her brief sentence.

Editor’s Note:

Paris Hilton is famous for no reason.¬¨‚Ć But she’s now famous for knowing how to pose for a police camrea.¬¨‚Ć Hair pulled to the side and with a sultry look and half-smile, Paris was trying to woo the camera dude.¬¨‚Ć Her mugshot looks like a headshot.

Michelle Rodriguez 

Former ‘Lost’ star Michelle Rodriguez was booked into a Los Angeles County jail in December 2007 to begin a six-month sentence for failing to complete her community service and alcohol monitoring that was ordered as part of her probation from a drunk driving arrest. Rodriguez, 29, admitted violating her probation by failing to provide proof of community service and by drinking alcohol while wearing a monitoring device.

Editor’s Note:

Michelle probably rolled into that prison with her “Fight Girl” persona.¬¨‚Ć Or…is Fight Girl actually Michelle Rodriguez persona?¬¨‚Ć Either way, she’s got her country Greens on looking like scrubs and with that half-cocked smile and confident look, she’s ready for her stylists to add lipstick and she’s gooood!

Aw, Hell NAW!!

Posted by The Zodiac | Crazy Things On The Internet | Tuesday 11 January 2011 11:10 pm