Name: Kelly Rowland

Status: Destiny’s Wild!

Occupation: Singer/Actress

Why?:Everyone talks about Beyonce…THEN they may mention Kelly. Fuck that! It’s always been about Kelly Rowland for me. That dark chocolate with those perfect teeth and bright eyes plus nice slim body always did it for me. Personally, I always liked her with some red in her hair too. She can definitely get Ye Olde Pipe on any level of the playing field. I wasn’t too happy about those implants she got bolted on but then again…I’d play with plastic so no harm done. But what got me onto her hard was the marriage of Kelly + Jason Voorhees + Freddy Krueger. Anyone who knows me knows my love of horror flicks runs deep. That alone put her on the Hulk Smash list. I should toss in Jamie Lee Curits when I have time. lol.

Name: Jessica Biel

Status: 7th Heavenly Smash!

Occupation: Actress

Why?:Point blank. Justin Timberlake sucks! Dude picks up a mic and gets to smash women like Jessica Biel and then toss her in the trash. WHAT? See, for a regular dude like me who remembers her from that irritating show, “7th Heaven”, she was damn near dime-status then. I’d turn that bullshit show on and if I didn’t see Biel, it got the shaft. Well, now she’s all grown up and badder than all hell! Crazy curves and ass for a White chick, too. But you can’t deny your gamma piercing through when you see clips of that bastard, Adam Sandler, grabbing her jubblies in that Chuck movie. Lucky asshole.

Name: Michelle Rodriguez

Status: Tom Boy

Occupation: Actress

Why?:I love this tom-boyish, maybe-lesbian-maybe-not, hard-boiled chick! Her rugged demeanor on film and raspy voice is a turn-on. She’s a bad girl and rebel as noted from her arrest(s) yet still has something feminine about her. Some guys don’t understand her sexuality because they’re dumbasses but me? Michelle could get pop-squatted on her next movie set. Sure, she plays tough chicks in almost every role but I’d hulk-smash her into a new crater on the Earth and have her sweetly kissing my ear and tossing flower petals in the air. No doubt!

Name: Angela Bassett

Status: Classic Smashable

Occupation: Actress

Why?:The first time I saw Angela Bassett had to be in Boyz N Tha Hood.  Back then, Lawrence Fishburne was 100 pounds lighter, Cuba Gooding was still over-acting, and Ice Cube had a powerful jheri curl.  But what was still the same as is now is the smashable hulkness that is Angela Bassett!  The woman is fine.  Point blank.  You can’t possibly tell me that if she smiled in your face and grabbed your manhood, you wouldn’t turn green!  Sorry Courtney,…your wife is 50+ years old and blazing!  She still has 10 years on my Smash List.