Name: Tamara Tunie

Status: 50+ Dime Status!

Occupation: Actress

Why?:This woman is what?  50?!!  She’s HOTNESS!  I love sitting there watching Benson and Stabler dig into some suspect’s ass only to have Tamara come up with some stats on the corpse.  She’s all smart and sexy in her scrubs.  That curly hair is just a bonus for a nice-looking woman like her.
So, yes Tamara…you’d get the Hulk Smash Lou Ferrigno-style with a side of gamma ala carte!   Trust me when I hear you talking about corpuscles and busted ocular nerves, my heart’s racing, baby!

Any of you guys have only stick with the young things don’t know what you’re missing.  Give me a beautiful older woman with experience under her belt and sexiness under her bustier, and I’m goooood!!

Download the first single to ZODIOLOGIST!

“Leave ‘Em In The Dust” features Shauno and the video can be seen in the Video section on The Zodiac site.

DIRECTIONS:

Use your device and any QR Scan software to take a photo of the barcode on the left.  It will take you directly to the song for playing or downloading.  Need the software?  Search your iPhone/Blackberry/Android device App stores for “QR Code Reader” and you’ll find one for free.  Come back and use it to scan the barcode.

Click on the icon and print it out or simply copy and paste it and send it to everybody you’ve ever met on the planet! Ha!  Enjoy.

Name: Sarah Shahi

Status: Fairly Lethal!

Occupation: Actress

Why?:I have a confession…I watch the USA Network..a LOT!  So, if you don’t, then you may not know who this woman is.  And guess what? I could care less.  She’s a stunner!!  Her name is Sarah Shahi and she deserves a roll in the hay by yours truly immediately!  She has a tiny butt but the rest of her is something special.  Especially that damn smile.  Look at her. LOOK!!  Tell me if you had a chance to run up in that Trojan-less, you wouldn’t!  Nahh…I didn’t think so.

Searching for photos, it looks like she’s had MAD photos taken with crazy sexy poses.  I just wanted to highlight her beauty without being too distracting but dammit, man…Google her ass and see if you don’t start watching the show, Fairly Legal.  Sarah…you know the name, now you have to experience the game.   I’d never turn green with envy but I’d turn green with Hulk Smashdom!  If she knocked on my door right now, I’d film our passion on Skype just to piss off the world!  Jeez, she’s bad!

One thing I’ve learned over the years about dropping independent music is to protect myself over all of my original materials.  Think about it…  You put in work for months to years and bypass all legal channels just to get the music out to the people?!  Why?  If anything, being independent will set you back if it comes to the courts and some big-time producer was feeling your track only to copy it.  So, take some simple steps to protect it.

After having your music sounding all good, hesitate with pumping it out the public till it’s copywritten.  I know…you’re anxious and want the world to hear your song, and even I’m guilty of this, but wait a while before pumping that music to the masses till you’re at least set up. and on the books.  It doesn’t take long to get what you want…especially if you have a complete album done.

1.  Copywrite Your Product

This could be anything from music to poetry, to writing, etc.  For this instance, we’ll speak about a complete musical album.  Visit: http://www.copyright.gov/ and on the right, you’ll see an “eCO” logo.  Click that icon and read the info.  After understanding, click the eCO logo again on that page and register as a New User.  Once you’re in, you’ll run into a bunch of stuff to register your work and the songs within.  This is all for only $35!! They lowered the price for online registrations. It’s around $65 if you do it the old fashion, pen-and-ink method…that takes too long anyway.  Fill that in and submit it to the government with a payment.

2. Become a Publisher

Now, I’m a publisher and a writer but it’s all under one roof: ASCAP.  If you don’t know what ASCAP is, well…just know all of the majors and minors are utilizing either it or a system like it.  Other options are BMI and SESAC.  You may have seen them on the back of your favorite CD covers (back when people actually read CD covers..lol).  Anyway, these companies protect your works of art and you can also divvy up the percentages of payouts when your music is played at reputable venues (tv, movies, radio, etc.).  So, if you have a producer who worked on your music and you want to give them half your publishing, you’d assign them 50% and yourself 50% through ASCAP or the others.  It’s another way to protect yourself in case you ever heard the radio bumping your music and you want to get some payment for it.  Visit http://www.ascap.com and sign up.  It’s FREE!

3. Bar Code

Now, this step is completely up to you but to me, it’s a good idea to look completely professional when it comes to your music.  And being easily identified through a Universal Product Code could be that extra step.  Sure, you can sell your music at your shows or on your site but if you want to reach the masses, grab a UPC barcode and place it on your music.  That way, if it’s scanned anywhere, no one can claim it to be anything else but your own work.  I’ve done this for my past 3 CDs and for the upcoming ZODIOLOGIST.  You need one anyway if you want to distribute it through iTunes and other major outlets.  I utilize CDBaby for my needs.  Sign up for a free account but each CD you sell is $39 and submissions to the majors is $20 with a $20 barcode.  That’s not bad to become universal, world-wide and immortal in one clean sweep.  You also get free ISRC numbers for each of your songs.  You can use those codes in your ASCAP song listing as well to keep it uniform.  Go here for an account: http://www.cdbaby.com.

That’s about it.  Spend a little money to protect yourself and you may make a whole lot more back in the long run.

Name: Suzanne Malveaux

Status: Smexy!! (Smart + Sexy)

Occupation: News Anchorwoman

Why?: Sometimes you gotta switch up your smash-attacks and not focus on actresses…sometimes you watch TV and someone else catches your attention.  That someone else is Suzanne Malveaux. Pronounced “Soo-zahn”, this little lady is the conservatively-dressed brown-skinned, smiling reporter on CNN who would look better on ZNN (Zodiac Naked Network) if she weren’t currently employed by Ted Turners startup.  Suzanne has been reporting from everywhere and doing her thing filling in for Wolf Blitzer on The Situation Room. Now, she has her own gig during the daytime and I tune in every day just to watch her smile and look cute.

Here’s the bonus!  Suzanne has a twin sister, Suzette…  Just imagine what I was thinking when she interviewed her sister.  It was straight out of Penthouse Forums….Mann…..Suzanne, follow my Twitter and give me a shoutout with your phone number and hotel key next time you happen to be out in the southwest.  It’ll just be you, me, and the situation in my room.  Speak those big words to me anytime!

FINALLY!!  The Zodiac’s latest release, ZODIOlOGIST is to be available online here on www.thezodiac.net as well as other online retail outlets such as iTunes, CDBaby, Yahoo, Amazon, and others.  The date is set for April 5 and for some online outlets, it’ll be a little later but you can still pick up your copy on The Zodiac site as well as CDBaby on that exact date.

This CD will feature Shauno, Ché Broadway, Barf Brookz, and feature extra production by soce the elemental wizard.  Samples can be heard by checking out the website: http://www.zodiologist.com and clicking on the song samples available. Check back for more updates and videos.

Name: Olivia Wilde

Status: Thirteen

Occupation: Actress

Why?: I love that show, House, M.D.  I loved it even more when Olivia Wilde was on it.  Check her out…smooth skin, almond eyes, round head.  This chick is HOT!  Yeah, yeah…she’s wandered off of the small screen and onto the big movie roles in Tron and other shit, but thank God for USA Network and reruns.

Olivia is a great-looking woman who I’d break my nether regions into. Sure, she’s supposed to be with some dude who’s a prince or something and I’m sure she is loving the money but you know what, Olivia…I could love you better.  At least for the night.  Hell, her name on House was “Thirteen”.  How could I hate on that?!  Olivia…email me.  I’m not hard to find.  I’ve got some gamma rays for that ass!

Name: Natalie Portman

Status: Jewish Princess!

Occupation: Actress

Why?: Ever since I saw her on that freakin’ prequel Star Wars flick, I was attracted to the painted face, wig-rockin’, fresh-face of Natalie.  This chick is bad as hell from any direction.  Remember when she shaved her dome for that movie role?  That’s not only dedication, but her entire body would’ve been rocked with her smooth-ass nugget.  Then she and Clive Owen had that other flick where she was the stripper.  Her strip skills could’ve used some practice, but her seduction game was on point.  Yes, her Jewishness would never be a question as long as the parts fit.  Natalie Portman could wear my letterman jacket.  And I don’t even own one.
Natalie…call me!

Be sure to check out the new song I just made called “Got My Back”. I’m getting back in my creative mode after a few months off from recording and have too much in me to let it die out. So, enjoy. You can get the download at the ReverbNation page. [ Download Here ]