Lately, I’ve been seeing all kinds of shit popping up about The Illuminati. You know them…the underground powerful cult of diplomats, celebrities, presidents, wealthy people, Ivy League graduates, freemasons, blah, blah, blah…who have somehow formed distinct group that controls it’s citizens through subliminal signals? Yeah, them…
Now, although I believe the thought of an underground government group built to control the rest of society is very possible (See: Bilderberg Group), this Illuminati thing is going WAYYY past out-of-control. Look on the ‘net and EVERYBODY has been recruited by the Illuminati to get your teenagers in check. And now, suddenly….everybody is an expert on the subject and has it all figured out. They’re the ones not under the mind-control of the Illuminati because they spend half of their lives avoiding the symbols they come across. What do they do? Close their eyes?
Check out this list of Illuminati Recruits:
So, basically, all of these people are making music for Satan and throw in symbols to control your mind throughout the iTunes, MTV, VH1 and the like. Makes you wonder when the Illuminati recruited these characters. Before they made music and videos or after? Or did they sell their souls to the Dark Lord in order to achieve success?
If that’s true, then I suppose Bill Gates is a member of The Illuminati! Let’s see if I can find a connection: Oh, look at that! 3 seconds on Google and guess what? Bill Gates IS Illuminati after all! (source). I’m starting to feel left out here. Maybe I can come up with someone obscure like YoYo Ma or Yanni.
Point is this…if you believe in God and The Devil, then you’re probably going to believe in The Illuminati and every “expert” on the subject with a computer and Blogger link. I think it’s dumb bullshit and if I wanted to, I could come up with they Satanic symbolism in The Jersey Shore and how The Situation’s abs form the all-seeing eyeball when you squint in 50% sunlight. Or how Snooki’s height is perfectly centered at the pillars of the Horas’s fuckin’ entrance. Get the fuck outta here with that bullshit.
Fuck your Illuminati and tell Satan to shove a wooden stick up his red asshole! This is The Zodiac speaking and you can cash that one in on my dime.